Not All Pray-ers Look Alike
By Janet Holm McHenry
The speaker was mesmerizing. She was inspirational. And she was going to transform my prayer life. All I needed to do was buy the $24.99 prayer notebook that would forever organize my prayer lists into seven divided sections—one section for each day of the week.
I was eager to write down prayer requests on a checklist, date them, pray, and then wait for God to answer. I dove into this new prayer system enthusiastically and followed that routine for about a month.
Then life happened—the life I lived as a mom of four kids, a high school English teacher, and a church volunteer. And then guilt followed because I couldn’t keep up with the daily lists.
One morning I found myself asleep face down on the prayer binder.
Help, Lord. I’m a prayer failure.
Not the Be-All
People have all kinds of advice about how, when, and where prayer should be incorporated into a believer’s life. They tell others what they do, convinced that their own praying practice is the be-all and end-all for everyone. I even do this because I get so excited sharing how prayerwalking changed my life 25 years ago.
But maybe we haven’t considered that God has given each of us a different personality, and our natural rhythm of prayer may not look like someone else’s. As I’ve studied the prayer practices and prayers of biblical people, I’ve noticed that while they all seemed to pray differently, God heard their prayers. There are various ways we could characterize biblical characters’ praying styles, and what I’ve noticed is some seem more cerebral in nature, some are emotive, some are devotional, and some are physical.
Cerebral Pray-ers
Just as some people approach life rationally, logically, and argumentatively, they might also pray in that way. We see this in Job’s attempts to understand his suffering and in Gideon’s requests for God’s assurance. Then there was Moses, whose dialogue with the Lord appears much like a back-and-forth tennis match.
Here are paraphrases from Exodus 3 and 4 when Moses tried to get out of God’s calling to lead the Israelites out of Egypt:
God: Go to Pharoah to bring My people out of Egypt.
Moses: Who am I to try such a thing?
God: I will be with you and you will worship Me.
Moses: But who should I say sent me?
God: You tell them I sent you. Get the leaders together.
Moses: What if they won’t listen to me?
Then the Lord performed two miracles: turning a staff into a snake, then back into a staff, and turning Moses’ hand leprous and then normal again.
God: Do that so they believe you.
Moses: But God, I am a lousy public speaker.
God: I made your mouth. I will put the right words in it.
Moses: Please send someone else.
God: Your brother Aaron will be your mouthpiece. The miracles will help too.
We may also be cerebral pray-ers if we need signs, explanations, and clarity—and if our prayers are short and to the point. And if so, we can feel the freedom to explain ourselves in prayer, to ask God for understanding of hard circumstances, to take our problems to the Problem Solver, and to use God’s Word to guide our prayers. Natural praying practices would be to pray on the spot when a need arises, to pray “on the go,” and to pray big, bold prayers on behalf of others.
Emotive Pray-ers
Those of us on the California leadership team for the National Day of Prayer meet weekly for an hour or more on a prayer call with others from around the state and beyond. It’s interesting to hear others pray. While I tend to be succinct and to the point, others pour out heart-stirred words accompanied by tears and even sobs.
These folks are what I would call emotive pray-ers. We all have emotions that can influence how we speak and even pray, but emotive pray-ers carry others’ burdens emotionally into the throne room of prayer.
There are several emotive pray-ers in the Bible. Hannah was so overcome with emotion that the priest Eli thought she was drunk. “No,” she told him: she was “deeply troubled” and simply pouring out her heart of anguish for a child (1 Sam. 1:9–16).
Another emotionally charged pray-er was David, who left us with about half the Psalms, some of which are penitential in nature, some laments, and some praise and thanksgiving hymns. We can also remember that David danced and sang to express his worship—much to the disapproval of his wife Michal (2 Sam. 6:16–22). And Jeremiah wrote a whole book filled with laments.
If prayer is an emotion-packed experience for you, you might find inspiration from worship music for your quiet time. You might also find that creative expression comes naturally through practices of dancing, painting, creative journaling, or even writing poetry.
Prayer is a perfect outlet when thoughts turn heavy and overwhelming. Another helpful practice might be to turn biblical promises into declarations, shifting from melancholy thoughts to ones of hope. And some emotive pray-ers find a prayer closet the perfect place for the freedom of pouring out prayers.
Devotional Pray-ers
You may have a friend who is so close to God that she’s the first person you contact when you need others to pray. She seems to have such an other-worldly connection with the Lord that she walks and talks with Him as a natural course of her day. Maybe she has said things like, “Jesus is my best friend” or “Jesus told me the most amazing thing the other day” or “God just gave me the best idea!”
Devotional pray-ers seem to always be in touch with the Lord, so much so that you might wonder if they’re already halfway into heaven! Their mindset is synced with God’s Word and they see life prayerfully.
We learn in James 2:23 that Abraham was called “God’s friend.” That verse also says that Abraham believed God and was credited with “righteousness.” This friend of God—Abraham—was also a friend of humankind because he was the first recorded person who interceded for others. This man was devoted to God and worshiped in the manner the Lord taught him—through the offering of sacrifices (Gen. 12:7, 26:25).
Judge and prophet Deborah responded to the dramatic victory over the Canaanites with poetic thanksgiving:
When the princes in Israel take the lead,
when the people willingly offer themselves—praise the Lord!
Hear this, you kings! Listen, you rulers!
I, even I, will sing to the Lord;
I will praise the Lord, the God of Israel, in song (Judges 5:2–3).
Devotional pray-ers pray throughout their day. They thank God for every circumstance that comes their way, including the people around them. They confess their sins as they occur and have God’s Word firmly planted in their minds so that it becomes a springboard for their prayers.
They may be so in tune with others’ needs that they may forget their own—so they may want to remember it’s all right to petition for themselves.
Physical Pray-ers
We do not pray apart from our bodies, do we? Even if we’re completely silent, our minds, hearts, and souls are fixed on the Lord. We use our mouths to utter praise and thanksgiving and to ask God for what is on our hearts. So, yes, all prayer has a physical nature, but some people put more of their physical selves into the practice.
We see a more physical practice of prayer in Jacob, Joshua, and several who fasted: Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther. While we may feel like we are wrestling in prayer, Jacob literally wrestled with the Lord (Gen. 32:26–30). On the other hand, Joshua responded to the Lord with obedience, and only once do we hear a complaint from him (Joshua 7:7).
Many fast for personal breakthrough or the breaking of spiritual strongholds. Elmer Towns writes of many biblical reasons to fast, including freedom from addiction, to win others to Christ, and to seek protection from the evil one.1 This physical expression prayerfully shifts our hearts, minds, and bodies from our own physical needs to a consciousness focused on Jesus.
Physical pray-ers might find any of the following are natural prayer styles: prayerwalking, dancing during worship, kneeling, fasting, and responding with acts of obedience. They may also be responsive to their five senses and intuitive prayer needs through what they see, hear, and otherwise experience.
Release from Guilt
Studying the different ways people in the Bible prayed has helped me find freedom to pray in the way that’s most natural for me and to help others release guilt so that they can discover their own praying style.
This will help them shift from having a prayer life to what my writer friend Jennifer Kennedy Dean used to say: a praying life—one that feels more like an all-day-long conversation with the Lord God, who, after all, started the conversation with His created ones.
1Elmer Towns, Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough (Ventura CA: Regal, 1996), 5-6.
JANET HOLM McHENRY is a speaker and the author of 25 books, including PrayerWalk and Praying Personalities: Finding Your Natural Prayer Style (janetmchenry.com). She serves as a county coordinator and member of the state leadership team for the National Day of Prayer.
